Chapter 16 - ALEXANDER'S CHOICE
The divorce moved more slowly than our emotions did.
Paperwork has no respect for heartbreak.
While Alexander felt his marriage ending by the hour, the legal process measured time in deadlines, disclosures, conferences, and scheduled hearings.
Temporary financial arrangements were established.
The marital home remained occupied by Bianca for the moment.
Alexander rented a small apartment near his office.
He refused my offer to help pay the deposit.
"I need to stand on my own for a while."
I understood.
He bought a cheap table.
Two chairs.
A mattress.
One saucepan.
A coffee maker.
The first evening I visited, we ate supermarket soup from mismatched bowls.
Alexander looked around the nearly empty room.
"At forty-eight, I have the apartment of a student."
"At twenty, you had worse curtains."
He laughed.
That laugh lasted longer than the one at Marta's office.
We were getting there.
Then the settlement conference approached.
Bianca's side wanted to resolve property issues before the employer and financial investigations created even more uncertainty.
Alexander wanted the same thing for different reasons.
He wanted distance.
Marta warned him that speed could be expensive.
"Do not give away rights just because you are tired."
"Tired people sign bad agreements."
Alexander looked at her.
"You really know where to hurt me."
"It is memorable."
The financial picture was ugly.
The marital estate had been reduced by transfers to Ewald and by Bianca's separate account.
The house had equity but also debt.
Alexander's retirement savings were partly protected by applicable rules and partly subject to marital division depending on contributions.
The exact numbers required professional calculation.
I stayed out of those details unless Alexander asked.
This was his marriage.
I had spent too many years being inserted into it as a symbol.
I would not become a weapon now that Bianca was leaving.
At the settlement conference, I waited in a nearby cafe because I was relevant to some disputed funds but not the center of their divorce.
Four hours passed.
Then five.
Alexander finally called.
"Mom, can you come upstairs?"
His voice sounded strange.
Marta met me outside the conference room.
"Bianca made a proposal involving the twenty-five thousand."
I frowned.
"Why do they need me?"
"Because Alexander wants your decision about one part."
Inside, Bianca sat across the room with her attorney.
She looked exhausted.
No perfect hair.
No polished smile.
No perfume strong enough to arrive before she did.
Ewald was not there.
Lydia was not there.
For once, Bianca sat without her parents behind her.
Alexander explained the proposal.
Bianca would acknowledge in the divorce settlement that the €25,000 was intended by Alexander as a gift to me and was removed without his consent after delivery.
The money would be returned from Bianca's separate disclosed account and other available marital adjustments.
In exchange, Alexander would not seek a larger offset specifically for that amount beyond the return itself.
Other disputed transfers would be handled separately in the overall financial settlement.
Marta asked me only one question.
"If the agreement returns the twenty-five thousand to you, do you want to accept it?"
I looked at Bianca.
She did not look away.
Then I looked at my son.
"Yes."
Alexander seemed surprised.
Maybe he expected me to refuse out of pride.
I had thought about that too.
But refusing would have turned the money into a symbol larger than it needed to be.
Alexander had given it to me.
Bianca had taken it.
Returning it restored a simple fact.
The gift had been mine.
What I did with it afterward would be my choice.
Bianca signed the term sheet.
Alexander signed after reading every word twice.
Then the document came to me for acknowledgment of receipt terms.
I read every word too.
Bianca watched.
Her mouth tightened slightly.
I signed.
When the conference ended, she approached me in the hallway.
Her lawyer remained nearby.
Marta stood beside me.
"Helga."
"Yes?"
"I am sorry about the money."
I waited.
"Only the money?"
Her face tightened.
"I'm sorry about your signature too."
"And my apartment?"
"Yes."
"And entering my home?"
"Yes."
"And calling my work something dirty?"
She looked away.
"Yes."
I studied her.
"Why are you apologizing?"
Bianca blinked.
"Because I was wrong."
"Or because the evidence is strong?"
Her eyes flashed.
There she was.
The old Bianca returned for half a second.
Then she swallowed the anger.
"Both."
That answer was imperfect enough to be believable.
I nodded.
"Then I heard you."
She looked confused.
"That's it?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know."
"That I forgive you?"
Her eyes filled.
I shook my head.
"I am not ready to say something I do not feel."
"And I will not lie to make this hallway easier for you."
Bianca nodded slowly.
"Fair."
Then she looked past me at Alexander.
"Can I talk to him?"
I stepped aside.
That was his choice.
He spoke with her at the far end of the corridor.
We could not hear every word.
We did not try.
Later, Alexander told me she asked whether there was any chance of stopping the divorce.
He said no.
She asked whether he still loved her.
He said yes.
That answer surprised me.
He explained it that night.
"Love wasn't the question anymore."
"Trust was."
"Safety was."
"Whether I could ever sign my name at the same table with her again without wondering what the paper would become later."
He looked at me.
"I still love the person I thought she was."
"Maybe parts of that person were real."
"But I can't build a life on parts."
I understood.
Two weeks later, the €25,000 was transferred to an account in my name under the settlement arrangement.
I went to the bank in person.
I asked the teller to print the confirmation.
Then I carried it home in my handbag beside my old lipstick and handkerchief.
The same bag that had held the recorder.
I placed the confirmation on my kitchen table.
For several minutes, I simply looked at it.
Twenty-five thousand euros.
The money had become so tangled in betrayal that I no longer knew how to see it as a gift.
So I called Alexander.
"Come over tonight."
He arrived with Chinese food.
I showed him the statement.
"It's back."
He nodded.
"Good."
I slid an envelope across the table.
Inside was a bank transfer form showing I had moved twenty thousand euros into a conservative savings account under my sole control.
Another five thousand had gone into a separate account marked HOME REPAIRS AND TRAVEL.
Alexander looked puzzled.
"Why are you showing me?"
"Because I want you to understand something."
"I am keeping it."
His eyes widened.
"I thought maybe you'd give it back."
"Why?"
"Because of everything attached to it."
"No."
I touched the confirmation.
"You gave me this money because you were grateful."
"That was real before Bianca touched it."
"I will not let her behavior rewrite your gift."
Alexander's eyes filled.
He reached across the table and took my hand.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
Then he said, "There is something else."
My stomach tightened.
"What?"
"The investigators asked me to identify a document today."
"What document?"
"A letter to Kessler Capital."
"It says the family expected to control your apartment within twelve months."
I felt cold.
"Who signed it?"
Alexander looked at me.
"Ewald."
I exhaled.
Then he added, "And Bianca."
I waited.
His hand tightened around mine.
"Mom, there was a third signature."
I knew before he said it.
"Mine?"
He nodded.
"Yes."
This time, unlike the altered agreement, Alexander remembered signing the letter.
May you like
He just remembered being told it was something completely different.
